Changes and Relationships

Some personal thoughts

I increasingly realise that I'm really a mixture of blindspots, OK & clever. The precise ratios are open for debate. It also appears to be true for everyone I've ever met. If someone claims to be stupid or average - watch out for the hidden gifts. It also appears that if someone is really really clever they have matching blindspots of similar proportions. What do you think?

For me to change, of course I need to see the future prize, the shortfalls of today & the need to change. I also often struggle though without some support, encouragement and honest friendship. Logically I shouldn't need that but in reality...essential.

My best friends somehow combine a mixture of positives with occasional nudges on my blindspots. I sometimes don't like it internally but afterwards I reflect that perhaps that is the real difference between nice acquaintances and people that genuinely care. I also expect more honesty in friendships now I'm older and sometimes even invite it.

As an engineer it is hard to acknowledge but honest relationships do seem to matter more than decimal places.

There are many good acquaintances and good friends in my life - I'm learning the difference.

Big question for me and you....who cares enough to be honest and supportive in life - to make the changes?

Long time no post

Apologies, life has been very full and rich since updating this last time.

I had already decided that when I started doing consultancy I would build on the old but bring some new takes. I wanted to focus on the 'new opportunities' with people I like and respect. The new opportunities seem to come out of good trusting relationships. These seem to allow 'stupid questions' to be asked, weaknesses to be explored, strengths to be reinforced, disruptive possibilities to be innovated and birthed.

Giving myself a business title of "Court Jester' came out of an uncomfortable decision making process. I feel so glad I did in hindsight. At the very least i can be really honest with who I am when meeting others. There are so many things I am not very good at, but felt in the past to some extent that I should be. I'm now clearer about what I can be good at and comfortable with that. It helps for good relationships also.

What are you good at?

Blog Spot

Thanks for looking - probably again - for some words in this space.

Many thanks for even thinking it might be interesting, worthwhile or just intriguing - I now feel under some pressure.

I've never written a blog or used social media - that's what my daughters do  - so here goes.

Change is the theme of my life at the moment - so here are some personal thoughts;

Change is such a weird thing - I've been a  project manager for many years...I obviously like big pictures, people alliances, detail, innovations...and getting a good  idea of engineering projects' complexities. But, personal change doesn't always fit into logical expectations. I read the books before my first child came, I was cool and knew what to expect.....and then had a daughter. Never expected that really as the oldest of 4 boys. Having kids in reality was nothing like downloading a book and executing best practices. Moving house is somehow similar, with the long term family home becoming someone else's home overnight - with very little emotional baggage left behind and the new house becoming the focus of creative energy in making a new home. We really enjoyed being around for our second grand-child's arrival in March - amazing. And I remember her mum on my arm  when she was only a lovely, loved baby; a day old - how did that happen. The child like sense of wonder of Joshua's big sister Gwennan (2.5yrs) is something I cherish, love and want.

Change of life from Rolls-Royce is different again.  In many ways I loved what I did and was very privileged - a great home. And then I chose to go & moved on. We all have only one life and I was keen for a new perspective. Increasingly I appreciate the many people I worked with - inside & outside of the company - the excellent people and friends I knew over many years. I think I tried to encourage and appreciate people at the time - but being at a step removed is also a new privileged position to be in. I wanted to leave the lovely security and live a little more dangerously with the freedom to ask & seek what life is all about - corporate, engineering, family & personal. I love it but it does my head in. I want neat answers, but more possibilities open out, the journey is good, but I think I'm naturally programmed for finding solutions. We have helped run groups on the theme of So What? There are so many nice things, complex things, life challenging things...people have enjoyed asking the slightly bolshy ...so what is life really all about type questions. That naturally fits with my passion for transformational life coaching. The artificial professional distance is already helping some people with novel perspectives.

Change of perspective - putting yourself in someone else's shoes is a great discipline - I started when playing bridge as a teenager - against myself. Seeing things from unusual perspectives, upside down, right to left; is what I enjoy doing, I'm fascinated by it. I start to see that what others are good at they mainly take for granted until they are frustrated by other's inabilities to do what they are good at - a good test of competence perhaps.

I now also better realise that some things/people are good enough to celebrate, be thankful for, support and sustain. There has been much technological progress, but relational progress looks much harder.

Bottom line what do I, what do you, want to change and or celebrate?

I'll try to update this more frequently - any thoughts or queries - please contact me.

atb

Peter